Tuned in to Random Acts of Kindness!

>>6922
Very late reply, but thanks anon, it looks like I'm able to view it. Must've been something on my end.

>>6987
Good to hear anon. I hope it all works out for you in the end.

being encouraged is fine, but it doesn't really help.

>>6992
Being encouraged has been helpful for me.

>>6994
because you were already well on your way

>>6997
You're not really well on your way without the proper mindset for the task. Discouragement, demoralization, and anxiety can all stop you from accomplishing anything. Times like those are when I've found encouragement helpful.

>>6995
How do I smile bait?

>>6996
fren you're so cute let's do something fun together please!!! :33

I only have one friend, it's my best friend but I hardly ever see or interact with him. Being alone doesn't bother me, but I don't like feeling lonely. It really gets to me when I’m going to study and see everyone else with their groups of friends while I’m just staring at the wall. I don't like being in social settings; I prefer staying in my room working on my projects and goals. I don't really have anything to talk about and my conversations tend to be boring, so I prefer to avoid talking to people except sometimes with my brother. Can I have a hug?

Lonely.

>>6990
wow these are some really nice horses

Love and peace to all friends!

>>6952
Stop using labels for people and learn these phrases:
> If you say so.
> Uh-huh.

I should be working towards my PhD but I've realized that I'm basically out of ideas. I always feel as if I'm not doing enough, that I don't know enough yet, and that I'm simply not good enough. Why should I even bother applying? When I look at the road ahead it feels exhausting but I'm also afraid I've wasted my entire 20s and now I'm an older guy. I look back at what other people have said and done, you know older people tell such interesting stories, but I feel like I haven't really done much but NEET and study, like I never had much of a life. Everything feels pretty depressing. I even beat myself up for not watching anime or reading manga but then another side of me says "hey instead of that you could be studying". I know I have real life achievements, that's what people tell me anyway, but I can't seem to feel good about it.

People say I'm too harsh on myself but if I wasn't and if I didn't succeed (or come off as successful) nobody would value me anyway. Its getting so hard to just enjoy things and pace myself. Nothing seems to help me relax anymore. I'm wasting my life and I know it.

>>6976
Everyone doing a PhD feels like that. Somebody has probably told you that already but I'm saying it again. You are still learning so it's OK to not know what you're doing. I had no idea what I was doing for most of mine and ended up hating it. It's more important to understand how you could do better next time than it is to come up with the perfect piece of research right now. I was also a wreck both before and afterwards but I'm glad I did it because it was my life goal since I was little.
If you don't mind me asking, what field are you in. More importantly, do you like your supervisor and is he supportive? I think that's really important. Are you supposed to come up with your own research questions or is this an already existing project that you're inheriting?

>>6977
I should have clarified. I'm not doing a PhD yet I'm in the process of applying to do one… well I say that but work on it has stalled. I always feel like I'm not ready, the proposal isn't good enough, I'm not capable of doing the research etc. like you need to be perfect to do a PhD and I'm not perfect enough, there's always gaps, stuff I don't know, books I haven't read etc. Whenever I go through my existing work I see problems and frustrations. I've taken a whole year out and ended up being a NEET obsessively studying. I have this arrogant delusion in my head that research needs to be really really good or its worthless. Social anxiety makes contacting potential supervisors feel like death too.

>do you like your supervisor and is he supportive?
I avoided my supervisor as much as possible on my last degree. We met only twice during research and writing. I always felt that I shouldn't cause problems for other people or get in their way and I was pretty embarrassed by my own work even though it went well. He was very encouraging, highly recommended I do a PhD but I felt very distant and alienated from him. Like "if I don't impress this man he'll see me as worthless" thing so it was a constant effort to keep up and appearance and I never got to know this guy as a person at all.

>>6980
Sorry, it wasn't clear to me if you had started or not and I guessed. Putting aside the question of whether you're good enough, if doing a PhD is something you want to do deep down, I would encourage you to try as long as you can secure some kind of stipend or money to live on. I don't know what the situation for that is like where you live. If you decide you don't want to do it, that's fine too.
>like you need to be perfect to do a PhD and I'm not perfect enough, there's always gaps, stuff I don't know, books I haven't read
Yeah. When you're in lower degrees, you just use whatever sources you can find but now suddenly you have to be "comprehensive" in your literature review. I had anxiety about having to have every paper and book even tangentally related and not having any way to know if I'd achieved that. The truth is you don't. The examiners want to see that you've read widely about related topics and have the main citations. Remember, a thesis is about your project not everyone else's. The purpose of all this reading is simply to bring you up to speed on the kinds of things other people are talking about so you have context for your work and maybe also to give you some inspiration or something to argue against. You're also not generally expected to have done it all before you start. That's actually a huge plus in your favour. Regarding the initial proposal, that doesn't need to be comprehensive at all. It just needs to show that you have a research question and a realistic plan to answer it. You can always change things about you thesis later. In fact it's guaranteed to have changed by the end.
I guess every supervisor relationship is different and I didn't mean you had to be friends with him. It sounds like you'd be best with someone who is fairly hands off. Don't feel bad about taking up some of his time if you need to though. It's his job.

>>6487
Yeah this helped thanks. I've found exercise helps a lot but it can depend on what causes the anger because sometimes dwelling on a cause only prolongs the anger. I try to distract myself with something that I might enjoy, but that doesn't always work because the negative thoughts I'm having ruin what I'm trying to enjoy.

>that anger still was expressed by making your day worse
That's an issue I'm dealing with right now. Even if I don't lash out, I carry those feelings with me all day and it ruins things.

>>6465
When someone really annoys me in a face-to-face conversation, which happens very rarely, I might raise my voice at them and tell them to use their brain and think before speaking/acting.

But usually, instead of anger I feel crushing disappointment in the society I live in and the stupidity and ugliness of everyday people. In such cases, I drink and watch anime.

>>6495
At a certain point once the initial anger subsides it quickly becomes a game of anticipating anger and preparing to react, that's to say, you're building the conditions that necessitate a cause and a reaction. So learning how to not even think about letting go or holding on after you've fleshed out and understood your anger was the next step for me. There's nothing more to respond or react to, there's nothing more to consider, and feeding into the anger no longer addresses or is even about the cause of my anger. The ultimate goal is seamlessly transitioning from provocation towards an action that I consider beneficial, so as to not dwell on anger, and in order to not dwell I need to stop considering anger to be a topic to think about. I'm just responding to you as if you had a similar thought process to me, so I don't know if this applies, but this is how it went for me.

I, for one, enjoy and welcome the increase of my anger issues. It's just that I find them useful. Not advocating for it. Maybe the point is to keep frustration for when you'd actually need it. I don't feel I should be giving advice on this, with me it's either been bottling up into absurdity, or meltdowns. I just had to write this out somewhere, without lying. It was only a few times when someone respected me for noticing me holding back an extreme melty. I recall when I was made fun of trying to play situations down into something where I wouldn't want to get harsh, and it made me think about a lot of things. I'd prefer a complete nothing out of any of this.

The main reason I don't have friends or a gf is I have explosive anger issues. People get to know me and one day I get frustrated and go ape shit and they end up being hurt by my words. I feel like a piece of shit afterwards and my attempts at fixing myself are half harted so I take the coward's way out of avoiding people. I'm always extremely irritable and feel resentment towards other people, society in general.

>>6903
Thank you for the stream!

Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica Movie 3: Hangyaku no Monogatari this Saturday at 8pm UTC

>>6929
Tomorrow.

>>6929
>>6944
Today for real this time. 8pm utc

thank for stream

And yet you solved it, good job!

yeah I kinda feel old solving it for some reason

>>6258
what is it i just got here
oh

>>5677
Even with the manga it's based on only a few volumes are translated.

>>4560
I tried watching Japanese hardcore wrestling and it disturbed me. The non-hardcore stuff was easier to stomach but harder to follow.

>>4079
I've been feeling this too lately. Its not because there isn't good material out there I just can't get into stuff anymore. I struggle to pay attention and get invested in it and feel really unsatisfied. Maybe I'm burning out of stuff? I'm having a frustrating time right now in life and I guess that's adding to it. I want something to take the edge off but can never really be bothered to watch anything.

I can obviously only speak for myself, but I tend to find my hobbies come and go like waves for me. I'll have a period of time where I'm ALL IN, then I'll lose interest for awhile and move on to something else for a bit.

Brains try to maintain equilibrium in so many ways, so if you're exposing yourself to the same things over and over (or worse, going down a dopamine hole with endlessly scrolling on social media, gacha games, etc.) you'll soon seek out something more and more just to maintain any feelings at all, let alone a high. Give yourself breaks and learn to appreciate calm and quiet moments.

I reject the idea of "growing out" of anime/manga/otaku media though. I think it is wonderful to allow yourself to enjoy or at least appreciate all kinds of good art when you see it, whether it be pulpy, classy, complex, simple, crass, childish, corporate, commercial, or a hentai about a guy who will lose his house unless he keeps a boner for the entire month.

also read higurashi

I'm never going to lose interest in anime as long as I live, but I've been finding myself just rewatching my favorites more than anything else lately myself. It's not from me believing that there is nothing else worth watching out there, but that I can never really seem to find stuff I know will click with me, and what I do decide to watch feels like it ends up being a dud. Something that satisfies everything I want can fall into my lap, but then I realize that nobody I know of will have bothered with it prior to me watching it.

I don't know how common this is for other anons, or even outside of the few remaining IBs, but it certainly feels like there is a collective malaise (that I personally call hobby dilution) going on where people are forgetting how to have fun with the hobby. The solution would just be to talk about what anon finds fun and thinks everyone should watch, but this is somehow the most difficult topic to have.