>>789
thats not a kind thing to say >:(

>>580
>>789
>>791
hey, hey, hey!! everyone does retarded things sometimes!! but as long as you learn from your mistakes, being retarded is fine!!

>>793
i don't learn from my mistakes sadly

>>789
Its not retarded. If you make a promise to someone you have to fufill it. A relationship is a two way thing and unless you can end it amicably then you shouldn't just back out by yourself abandoning the other person. Even if its a relationship you didn't actually want but consented to anyway. You have to do right by the other person at least. There's nothing wrong with wanting to leave a relationship. But its immoral and dishonorable not to meet your commitments. OP will have to at least try the relationship and let it run its course (even if he ends it early) and not just ghost her or something. People don't deserve abandonment.

>>862
Doing that is beneficial to no one.

I just take it easy.

The first step is to accept that the ego is an illusion. There is no "you" or "I" that persists from one moment to the next. There are only different sensations, memories, feelings, perceptions the mind falsely tie together into a single identity. This identity is the source of our suffering. When you genuinely realize this truth you will experience ego-death. Intellectually grasping this idea and genuinely knowing it in your heart are seperate things. That's the hardest part and there's no easy guide for that.

>>843
cool idea! but there's a problem here. if the ego's an illusion, and the mind exists, what would it mean for the mind to die? think about it. you can't have one without the other!

>>841
I have no idea and only take parts of these philosophies that kinda suit me, so I may be talking out of my ass, but my thoughts on this are:
Ego death doesn't mean you walk around the rest of your life like a vegetable, it's gaining and living with the knowledge that you aren't different from anybody on a spiritual level and as a result won't get emotionally upset because of something that happens to.You can still have ambitions for example, but won't despair should they not come true. It's like a near-death experience, you gain a whole new way of looking at things for the rest of your life.

>>846
I misspoke. The mind is just as illusory as the ego. We intuitively link together different fleeting mental states and tie them together with a single shared identity and call it mind, or ego, or self or I or me. Fleeting pieces held together with psychological duct tape.

.　∧＿∧
　(　･ω･)＝つ≡つ
　(っ ≡つ＝つ
　/　　 )
`(ノ￣∪

I forgot to put the period so the first part doesn't shift off.

>>804
What resources are you using?

>>807
I'm using this for Arabic
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfiyya_of_Ibn_Malik

For Japanese I guess I'll go with Tae Kim. I want to go through the textbooks on classical Japanese but I need to have basic Japanese down first and I'm trying to master the kana right now.

>>808
Oh. I learned Japanese with Lingodeer a while back for a short time and felt like I was making progress with it. I had no experience whatsoever going in. I ended up forgetting a lot of what I learned though.

>>808
learning from textbooks is a waste of time. you can learn japanese faster by watching videos!
>>812
that sucks, but maybe it's for the best? lingodeer is not free, after all. as for me, i've learned japanese by playing games. if you want to do the same, try playing kawaiidungeon! it's free!

>>823
I'd already paid for Lingodeer, so it's not like the financial aspect was a concern for me. It doesn't really bother me that I've forgotten things either. If I want to try learning another language, I'd focus on German. I know bits and pieces of it from taking it in school for years but am not fluent at all. I think it would be more useful to me than Japanese, not that it wouldn't be nice to be able to speak Japanese too.

That's sad anon, it does sound like some issue outside the abuse you faced as a child..
Keep trying to connect to people, try to find things of interest in their lives, something you relate with, you will perhaps start enjoying talking to people.
And I hope you find someone you want to love.

I don't have a lot to get off my chest. some days I feel like I'm not as motivated as I used to be about wanting to improve myself. It pains me because that was the part of me I respected.

(ik this thing is 10 months old but I don't really care, I'm kind of hoping no one sees this)
Trauma can do crazy things to a person's brain, I'd know... I hope things have gotten better for you.

I'm hypersexual. But at the same time, I'm afraid of intimacy with anyone I trust or care about. It creates this awful cycle where I'd rather go to my own abusers than to people who would actually respect me or treat me with any decency. Because being treated that way is unfamiliar and the person who treated me "nicely" before in a non-platonic context was manipulating and psychologically abusing me while using just enough nice words to keep me tricked for a half a year.
Sometimes I wonder what the point in trying to get better is, when it's so much easier to break myself down further. Sometimes I think it's something inherent for me to be like this. I feel like a hentai trope.
I recently got away from my latest abuser (who's much older than me), but I keep calling him... I don't know how to explain it. It's so hard to stop, at least he gives me attention.
At some point in being abused, especially sexually abused, if you adopt a certain way of coping, you learn to like the pain, and you start to feel like you deserve it. And then when it's finally over, you can't move on because not having that pain anymore feels like a void you need to fill.

>>1521
I can relate to this. I was never abused or anything, but I feel like my childhood messed me up. I was an undiagnosed autist who had no idea about my condition up until my teenage years. I was homeschooled through part of elementary school, which I don't regret at all, but when I was placed alongside other kids I realized I was socially awkward and didn't really fit in with other kids. I did manage to make some friends (and even had some girls show interest in me but have never made any moves), but it's been a long and painful journey to try and camouflage my condition. I'm a loner by nature, don't like having to interact with most people, and often wish I could just disappear and become invisible. At the same time, I crave affection and someone to spend my life with but don't even see how it could work out. I like to think I'm okay at hiding the fact that I'm a reclusive wizard when it comes to quick interactions with other people, but the pain at feeling like a worthless misfit is still there to some degree.

I always feel very stressed and burned out for some reason. I spend all day doing nothing but I still feel drained by the end of it.

>>1525
Your problem might be doing nothing. Are there any small things you can do for a sense of accomplishment? Cleaning up your home, cooking a meal, even taking a shower or going for a walk.

Humans evolved to want to do things with our hands, so getting off the screen and doing something physical is way better than sitting in one place doing nothing. It really does work.

and done

To everyone who reads this post: consider yourself cuddled. <3

Mummy likes the milkies!

>>658
Sorry sir, we sacrifice strangers like your to the god of rudeness.

Prepare yourself, you're kindness will be pulled out!!!!

>>658
Welcome to /kind/, anon!

>>658
You made a wrong turn pal

I think you shouldn't make the mistake of thinking people care about you, but many people will be pretty nice when it's no skin off their back.

/kind/ is always kind to each other. If they're not, it's usually in jest!

Grab a comfy spot and come relax with us.

>>711
I'm going to be at my girlfriends for the weekend and then i'll be with my family for the actual day. I'm getting into the mood to do some webdev/hosting stuff so I might end up doing that kind of thing next week (i booked most of it off)

>>711
I'm spending time with family on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas, friends.

I don't have any real plans this Christmas Eve besides taking it easy by myself. I will DJ some music, read, play a video game or two and maybe watch a movie to pass the time. I'm drinking some vodka

Tomorrow I'll see family and do the usual where we open things, make awful small talk for hours, have dinner and all that sort of stuff.

Merry Christmas friends.

>>715
>>716
Merry Christmas.

>>693
>Thinking back I'm glad I never got kidnapped haha
I was always freaked out about getting kidnapped as a kid.

When I was 17, my family was homeless and I became separated from them. I wasn't surviving well on my own so I decided I should just kill myself. I went to a Walgreen's to buy a Dr. Pepper with the spare change I panhandled over the previous few days, it was the only thing I could think of as a last meal. The lady in front of me in line bought it for me though, and I don't know why, but that small act of kindness gave me enough hope to keep trying my best. It's been almost a decade now and I've really turned my life around, so thanks miss.

I was on a school trip once to a military museum as a kid, and I was looking at army men in the gift shop I couldn't afford. A complete stranger was generous enough to help me buy them. I still feel bad about the way I handled it though. I went to pocket the change and forgot to thank him for what he did until my teacher stepped in. I was too autistic to know to give the change back and either didn't know to thank him or was too shy. He probably thought I was ungrateful.

I don't have any kind memories of my own to share, I lived a pretty terrible life so nothing really comes to me when I think this question. But it was nice reading some of these, they sound nice.

I try to be very kind in any case, just in case some tiny little thing I do means a whole lot to someone I may not even know. That's always good to do.

I miss my dad. He didn't have much of an impact on the world so I'm the only person who remembers him besides my mom.