>>2475I am the OP, and I'm having a hard time believing it's already been over a year since making this thread. I even remember the day of making this thread vividly. I am semi-active in a few old-school style forums, but they're only of interest for those truly knowledgeable. I mostly use the internet for practical, effortposting media discussions, and educational purposes now. Ironically, how I idealized I should have used it back when I was around a decade younger, hikineet, and spent most of the time posting shitposts and smug anime girls.
I guess I did end up "leaving" imageboards for good at least compared to spending the majority of my free time for several years solely on them, also wasting my time watching completely useless slop on youtube. I'll still peek a few places for no more than a few minutes, but it's so infrequent. Would it still be considered lurking?
One thing that really confuses me is how all these "refuges" have slowed or just flat-out kicked the bucket. Data reveals there a lot more isolated and disenfranchised men than there were just a decade ago, so where are they, why aren't they posting in places like these, and why aren't there more sites trying to keep the old spirit web alive.
But I guess there's criticism that can be said about doing that as many "webcore" sites may come across as superficial or trying too hard.
I had the foresight years ago to know if I spent so much time getting most of my social needs fix on imageboards I would likely reach a point where I'd become disillusioned from them and effectively left crippled in aspects such as social skills, life experience, etcetera.
That did end up being my case anyway but I agreed to take a job shortly after making this thread where I worked in front of hundreds and crowds of children and people everyday while Initially being a barely functional depressive wreck, with traces of my formerly severe social phobia.
I ended up being very well-liked, children loved me, and I was tipped more than I ever even imagined possible for someone like be. Just being tipped at all was incomprehensible for the first few months(and still looking back). I am not a good-looking man by any means, but I try to live as having a heart of gold despite having dealt with many, many truly vile people throughout these years. I was always fascinated by how adaptable people can be.
I have since left that job amicably and now just saving up as much as I can while working on some things on the side. My experience in the various occupations I have had in my 20s has confirmed my deep-down lifelong suspicions I would likely only prosper on my own directives and resources, so that's the goal. Recent technological advancements have made this much more feasible.
I remember when I was still a teen and early twenties, I would see older posters on sites like tohno, and I enjoyed the long posts they made, sometimes even revealing some wisdom. I would even recognize their writing styles in other places and even follow them for a bit. They would be in their late 30s by now, and nearly all have had their online presence disappear. One or two I have noticed and can still find have jumped the shark on spiritualism, religon, or even somewhat concerning esotericism, maybe filling a void? I don't really see much of this type of blog posting anymore, and I do miss it.
Wrapping this personal update up, I think that for a especially damned minority of an already nearly non-existent minority of us, there is no external help for us. Some have the privilege of getting help from their social support group or agencies like vocational rehabilitation and social disability. Others like me try in good faith but are met with nothing but run-arounds or just flat-out scorn for even having the audacity to reach out for scraps that could possibly mean everything compared to what we currently have or don't.
For the very few who know exactly what I am talking about, i just want to remind you that you're not the only one going thru all this. It is all excruciating, pointless even, and it really does seem like literally everything wants you dead but I honestly don't want that for you. It would hurt ME deeply knowing it isn't what you actually want to do.
The only advice I can give is discover and realize who you are and appreciate your resilience.
Face the world, experience, experiment, and maybe reading some of the texts that shaped the fundamentals of psychology and psychotherapy will help guide you. Because there's no one coming for me and you, true empathy and compassion will be few and far between, and "help" will often be disappointing. Coming to full-terms on this helps prevent bitterness, personal corruption, and resentment from developing.
It's impossible to predict just how bad things may get for you, but they can and will.
