[ Home / Rules / Radio / Streams / Net Friends ] [ latest / a ] [ cel / digi / lum / vnt / djn / art / sp / lit / co / media / kind / wap / gens ]

Tuned in to Random Acts of Kindness!

No Bully! Help Others!
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Upload Info
  • 3 files max, 25MB limit
  • Images: JPG, JPEG, BMP, GIF, PNG, WEBP
  • Video: MP4, WEBM (note that the video stream must come first)
  • Audio: MP3, OGG
  • Text: TXT, EPUB, PDF
  • Flash: SWF
  • Please use catbox for larger files
Embed
Password(For file deletion.)

File: 1741778098252.jpeg (76.87 KB, 1280x720, IMG_0157.jpeg)

 No.3571

/kind/ the internet is not a great place for the humble recovering hikki looking for guidance. Rage filled incel spam, pseudo psychology, really self-destructive stuff. Where can I get actually good advice?

I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’m a few years behind everyone else in college and have no idea what to do and watching YouTube videos and reading stuff online doesn’t seem to help.

 No.3573

>Where can I get actually good advice?
Ask on an online forum.
>have no idea what to do
What do you want to achieve?

 No.3574

Asking here is somewhat pointless since I sense most of us are in the same boat as OP.

Love is dead anyway. Its only something you see in anime now. It doesn't happen in the real world. Dating apps killed it.

 No.3576

Doubt the replies you'll get when asking for relationship advice will be much different than asking chatGPT the same questions.

 No.3577

>>3576
I mean, you could say this every time someone asks anything on an online forum. AI will be the death of forums. No, of society itself. Why even ask anyone anything at all when you can just chatGPT it.

 No.3578

File: 1741802958907.jpg (8.63 KB, 195x240, 1434006789541.jpg)

>>3574
This can't be! The gay virgins of /kind/ will know the answer. Maybe friend will come and say disemboweling is the way to a woman's heart?

 No.3579

File: 1741804514788.jpg (114.09 KB, 650x908, butterflies.jpg)

The others put it more tartly than I would, but they're right. You can't use a search engine to walk you through your life. Posting to a forum is the same principle. I don't know you. I can't even begin to help you even with your personal, singular struggles, let alone your outward struggles involving more than just you. You already have everything to piece together what to do with the relationships in your life. I know it's barely anything, but it's all you're ever going to have. All we could do with you is cobble you with what you already know, that a lover needs to be a best friend, that we as humans are designed to come together, that love is giving and taking, that love is both a connection that forms itself and a duty to uphold that connection, relationships require effort and require you to be vulnerable, yak yak. Everyone knows this and reciting it is a pointless exercise. Companionship is not a given nor a right in this life. Neither is isolation. Either relationships will be formed with the people in your life or they won't. You have to be ready to adapt to either scenario. I'm sorry it has to be this way. I hope you can find good friends to keep you.

 No.3588

I wasn’t asking for you guys to hook me up or something. I just want to know where I can find good advice on how to dress, does and donts. Jesus you people really are useless.

>>3573
What are you supposed to wear for a first date? It can’t be too formal or casual right? What’s a good location for a first date etc

 No.3589

>>3588
ask your parents maybe, they tend to have good advice (even if it can be a bit dated) or any other adult that's married and shit

honestly i think you just have to dress how you normally do in public, maybe with cologne/perfume? you don't have to go over the top because if it lasts for even a week eventually they're gonna figure out how you usually dress lol but maybe they'll think the effort is charming

to me relationships always felt like normal friendships but with extra steps. most important thing is that you both communicate with each other what you do and don't want. that's kind of it. be nice to them, giving small gifts is the ticket to one's heart (their favourite snack, a plushie of their favourite animal, etc). don't go overboard until you know for a fact you're head over heels for them

you got this anon :]

 No.3590

>>3571
I was also a pretty late bloomer (lost virginity in late 20s) but have been in the same relationship for almost 10 years (this summer!).
>>3588
>I just want to know where I can find good advice on how to dress, does and donts.
Open short-sleeved button up over a plain t-shirt (no power level revealing graphic tees) and a pair of slacks is a decent basic date outfit. If you wear sneakers make sure they aren't too beat up or dirty.

Bathe beforehand but don't use any overpowering scents, just deodorant. A lot of girls I know prefer "clean smell" combined with what their guy just smells like naturally. Shave if your beard/mustache is patchy, if it's not consider looking at grooming guides or having it professionally trimmed just to see what that looks like.

A good first date location is a cafe. Snack and coffee is cheap and if it goes well you can springboard it into other activities that day (a walk, a movie+dinner).

 No.3591

>>3589
My father is an inmate. I don’t talk to him and my mother is unwell.

>felt like normal friendships but with extra steps

I don’t have any normal friendships so I guess this won’t go anywhere.

>>3590
I’m not sure what to say or talk about over coffee.

Are there any unwritten rules for texting? I’ve never really done it before.

 No.3592

>>3591
Any kind of "rule" about texting is dumb. I know "bee urself" is not what you want to hear, but firing off messages as they come to you with little filter is good for showing who you really are to the person you are messaging. If they don't like it they'll ghost or dip, and if they do like you for you they'll keep it up.
>I’m not sure what to say or talk about over coffee.
Hobbies, shit you've read/watched/played recently, local news (less political). Ask her about these things as well.

 No.3594

>>3577
ChatGPT is a lot nicer than most and the only better, easily accessible alternative to it is reading books. Finding someone who's faithful to intellectual honesty is too difficult.

 No.3595

>>3588
>I wasn’t asking for you guys to hook me up or something
this makes me sad
>Jesus you people really are useless.
well it's you fault you won't let us hook you up

 No.3600

File: 1741918188501.jpeg (79.51 KB, 1400x700, IMG_0145.jpeg)

And she ghosted me..

 No.3601

>>3600
Thank the God for saving you from headache and get on with your life.

 No.3604

is it worth trying to find a relationship online if noone irl is like you? where would one find such place :/

 No.3605

>>3604
It's harder to find people "like you" online than it was in the past, but it is still the best option if you are a huge dork. MMOs and hobby communities are your best bet.

 No.3607

>>3604
The relationshit rat race is a trap. Free yourself.

 No.3608

I wonder where I fucked up :/

 No.3610

>>3571
Don't get it on an imageboard, you're wasting your time doing so. That's my advice.

 No.3612

>>3607
Bless your wisdom.

 No.3618

>>3571
>>3604
even if you can't find love right now, it would be good to try connecting more with people that you admire. and they don't HAVE to be just like you. that would be pretty boring.
>>3607
>>3612
love is free…

 No.3620

>>3618
>love is free…
yeah sure man

 No.3894

I found this book called The Art of Seduction and read it, I think it may be useful to others but I can't say how useful it is in the real world yet :\

 No.3896

File: 1744579791467.jpg (154.75 KB, 1600x895, april.jpg)

>>3894
any tips you've learned from it?

 No.3899

>>3894
You read a terrible useless book.

 No.3909

>>3607
The whole dating scene has gone to shit. Internet and technology pretty much took out a lot of reason to go out (part of shopping, eating out and entertainment) while dating apps have primed people to rate by look (when men are generally just average compared to women) + apps are botted to hell and then there is global rise in obesity, also, the social media are selling a lie of "cool and rich" life, so women are looking for guys who are doing the "cool" stuff and are rich.
Hell, when it comes to my country, going out clubbing is dying out.
There is also a thing that even older normies don't actually know how to pick up a chick or give a hint of attraction, they just happened to vibe with each other because they could naturally keep meeting each other.
Interpersonal relationships are a chaotic thing and by sanitizing everything and artificially raising standards, we ended up severely limiting our options to even start one.

 No.3915

When i was starting out there was this website called sosuave that had an entire section called "the donjuan bible" and it had the best dating advice for that time period circa 2008…ive used those tips to get girls in the past and they mostly work.(70 percent of the time every time).

Getting girls is a numbers game,ask enough girls and soon enough you will come across one who will be receptive to your advances.

 No.3981

>>3571
I'm in college as well after being a hikki dropout for years, but all the advice I've seen on dating that's not just common sense seems to be geared toward hook-ups. I guess this is the dating culture nowadays. I was superficially interested in a girl at some point, which is why I even looked it up, but I honestly don't think it's worth it. I don't see why I would waste my time on a relationship that's likely to end in disappointment. I think I'll just wait until I'm old enough that having a long-term relationship in mind while dating is acceptable, and hopefully find someone who's as stupidly idealistic as me. If not, there's more to life. I'm also majoring in engineering, so I run into zero girls anyway.

 No.4010

>>3981
>I don't see why I would waste my time on a relationship that's likely to end in disappointment. I think I'll just wait until I'm old enough that having a long-term relationship in mind while dating is acceptable
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. By the time you are older most worthwhile women would be married or engaged, the ones that remain would be desperate for a relationship but thats just because most of them are divorcees,single moms or crazy banshees.
You have to put yourself out there,dating is a numbers game, ask enough girls out for a date and after few rejections someone will be retarded enough to accept it. Its like fishing, you will have to accept that most women will not care for your bait or will just nibble at it and swim away. But with enough bait and perseverence you WILL catch a woman.god knows, you won't catch any fish by not trying. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Thats it im willing to give dating advice since i like the people here and feel like i can be useful for people that need it.i dont claim to be adonis, but i have a lot of experience with females as i tardwrangle a bunch of them at my job.you can listen to my stuff and try it out for yourself and report back if it worked for you.afterall what do you have to lose??

 No.4011

>>3588
>>3590
A coffee date is the worst thing you could do to yourself.for the first few dates, your job is to close your mouth, make her laugh and touch her in a not so creepy way.what is the solution to these problems? ACTION.
Take that whore to a bowling alley, ice skate,shooting range or even biking.think of it as a GTA IV dating activity. Remember how the game would skip coffee dates or drinking dates? Its because those didn't have any gameplay(action) and were boring. But when you took them to bowling,you could play a whole game and they would usually like it.im not saying that you should take everyone bowling per se, its just an example.
Girls prefer "gameplay" and coffee dates are just boring moviegames.

As for what to dress? Fucking easy, i mean its not 2009 anymore for gods sake. Just choose a celebrity that has the same build, complexion,hair and eye color as you and follow their instagram. Copy their style.its that easy.you dont have to buy hollywood brands though,that would be stupidly expensive.just buy something ok that looks like the stuff the hollyweird actor that resembles you wears as his outfit

 No.4032

>>3915

Youre acting shallow. Girls aren't points you can rack up, they are people.

If you have the time, browse, but do not post on, lolcow.farm, crystal.cafe, and the beauty parlor on KF. It will give you a much deeper insight into how girls think and feel. They're more similar to men than either of us want to admit, but very different at the same time.

The advice I have, as someone in a committed relationship, is the same shit as always.

Be confident, like actually. Recognize that you're valuable and worth knowing. There is no "powerleveling" when you're getting to know someone who might be a romantic partner. They have to like every part of you. If you're weirdly into Warhammer 40K, say so! The first time my girlfriend came to my house, we watched the Chris Chan documentary together.

Talk to people. Like do small talk. Do it until it feels natural.

Be open. Break down internal barriers that prevent you from feeling love and developing crushes. Allow those feelings to grow and blossom.

 No.4035

>>4032
> If you have the time, browse, but do not post on, lolcow.farm, crystal.cafe
You are recommending reading what crazy people write? Those places are crazy cunts factories. That's like saying to a girl she should lurk wizchan to understand boys.

> They have to like every part of you

Bullshit and impossible. The longer you are together the more you start to annoy each other. Try living together for 5+ years. You have to be able to accept the flaws of the other person and also grant them the freedom they need and want. You pick somebody you can deal with while the good points overshadow the bad ones.

 No.4036

>>4032
Anon when it comes to a longterm gf you are absolutely correct, honesty and true friendship can go a long way.

However not every girl is worth pursuing,some are absolute trash and others are only good for a hook up or a short term relationship(practice gf). These girls will misuse your trust and honesty. The best solution is to take "universal precautions" , treat all women the same untill they prove themselves as trustworthy. Be mysterious, reveal very little of yourself or none at all.

Also trying to understand women is akin to trying to understand martian weather patterns. Impossible. What do women want? Only god knows as even Women themselves don't really know what they want or feel at any moment. Hence the woman wishes for a nice guy but fucks the badboy that treats her like trash because thats what her dad used to be like.

>Be open. Break down internal barriers that prevent you from feeling love and developing crushes. Allow those feelings to grow and blossom.


Again this is very good advice for a long term relationship. Most relationships never get that far.

>>4035

>You pick somebody you can deal with while the good points overshadow the bad ones.

This should be written in gold,this is how you find a wife.

I can't help with long term relationships as i've never been married and only preach what i have used IRL. I've had long term gfs but thats very similar to a hook up.(as long as she doesnt have a ring, its not a long term relationship! If you can't trust her with a ring then its not long term even if you know each other for ten years.)

I repeat again, What i say, has been practiced by yours truly and only applies to finding a gf or just hooking up, i can't give marriage advice.

In the beginning you must focus on casual relationships or practice gfs.this is very important because you need a few practice relationships to be able to weed out the undesirables and finally find a quality woman.
Once you find a quality woman, you will have to perform periodic maintenance else your woman might leave you for john doe next door.

Finding a suitable mate consists of the following 4 phases:
Phase 1:the search , phase 2: audit, phase 3:reeling it in, phase 4: periodic maintenance.

I will explain everything when i get back home. Be warned though i dont care for social media and never use one. I mainly find my women in real life which means things are very real, the women look real and rejection will feel even worse.it's not for the faint of heart, but show courage and ye shall be rewarded! (With baloons filled with sand and sweet lemon cream pies)

 No.4037

>>4035
>You are recommending reading what crazy people write? Those places are crazy cunts factories. That's like saying to a girl she should lurk wizchan to understand boys.

False equivalence. I know, in person, several normal, well adjusted women that casually use those websites.

>Bullshit and impossible. The longer you are together the more you start to annoy each other. Try living together for 5+ years. You have to be able to accept the flaws of the other person and also grant them the freedom they need and want.


Sure, I'll consneed. You're correct. "Like every part" is optimistic. You at least have to accept them. Why wouldn't you want to start on a good foot, with your full self forward? Thats why Tinder sucks, because it's this curated digital self. It has little relation to the person who makes it.

>Also trying to understand women is akin to trying to understand martian weather patterns. Impossible. What do women want? Only god knows as even Women themselves don't really know what they want or feel at any moment. Hence the woman wishes for a nice guy but fucks the badboy that treats her like trash because thats what her dad used to be like.


Honestly the best advice I got on this was literally just to pick her up and twirl her around and get her snacks and whatnot when shes acting moody and strange and not talking about it.

The attractions of women are byzantine and enochian and its best to not worry about it.

 No.4038

>>4037
>Honestly the best advice I got on this was literally just to pick her up and twirl her around and get her snacks and whatnot when shes acting moody and strange and not talking about it.

I dont wanna sound like a hateful person, but this is because women never really grow up, they are stuck in this forever childhood that never really ends. They really do live in tutorial mode.

 No.4039

>>4038
If you could get picked up and twirled around and given snacks when you're not feeling good your mood would also improve. I don't think its childish I think its human.

 No.4040

>>4032
>If you have the time, browse, but do not post on, lolcow.farm, crystal.cafe, and the beauty parlor on KF
Yeah, don't do this. If you have problems talking to women browsing crystal cafe will make you never want to talk to one ever again.

 No.4041

>>4040
The worst of them are the bitches and they think like their male equivalents.

 No.4042

>>4040
Never been to crystal cafe before. I assume its fujoshi central or at least a female /r9k/

 No.4043

File: 1746130220657.png (288.45 KB, 367x367, 1465857251073.png)

>>4032
>>4037
>consneed
There are foxdicks on my /kind/ board unironically promoting foxdick farms and quoting null's unfunny memes.

 No.4051

>>4043
That anon is probably joking, i have never been to those sites but they have such a bad reputation as fujoshi/sadist central that i would never consider visiting them.



[Return][Go to top] Catalog [Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[Show Post Form]
[ Home / Rules / Radio / Streams / Net Friends ] [ latest / a ] [ cel / digi / lum / vnt / djn / art / sp / lit / co / media / kind / wap / gens ]