No.3065>>3066>>3084>>3190>>3235
I've had a very bad Christmas. I would appreciate a kind word, if you have one to spare.
>be me
>24, working adult
>"high functioning" autist, doing my best in a difficult world
>forced to maintain a relationship with insane, abusive mother
>have to put aside the hurt and pain from a childhood of physical, mental, and emotional abuse for the sake of family
>things are strained and distant, but manageable
>time for Christmas dinner, mentally prepped for another rough holiday
>don't wanna be there, but it is what it is
>to my surprise, things start well
>unwrapping presents, small talk
>my aunt keeps bringing up politics
>I keep trying to steer the conversation away, but she wont let me
>brings up abortion, other divisive stuff, like five or six times
>Eventually starts emotionally blackmailing me
>The usual manipulation, I know this playbook by now, and I call it out
>bad move
>she starts screaming at the top of her lungs, grabbing a knife in her hand
>I rush for the back door, as I can hear her screaming
>All the way into the street, I can hear her losing her mind
>Had I stayed even a moment longer, someone would have ended up in the hospital
I think thats the last time I'm ever gonna speak to my mother, or my aunt, or anyone from that side of the family ever again. They've been so awful to me, so why does it still hurt so bad? Can a non-autist explain why it still feels so miserable? I don't understand.
No.3066>>3067
>>3065 (OP)My condolences, kind friend. My mother and sister argued a few years ago on Christmas and didn't talk to each other for months afterwards. Forcing it is a bad idea when you don't like each other or at least can't deal with something. Just like my mother doesn't try to talk about how my sister treats her husband anymore you also did well with not wanting to talk politics.
No.3067>>3068
>>3066Thank you for the kind words. I agree that forcing it was bad. Every time she touched me, my skin would crawl and Id feel gross for awhile. But my dad wanted me to try, so for his sake I did it even though maybe I shouldnt have.
No.3068
>>3067You did something kind for your dad, so it wasn't entirely for nothing. I am sure he appreciates it and even when not you can at least point out that you tried if he ever talks about attending some festivities. It was without doubt a negative experience, but always take something positive out of a negative.
No.3069
>be me
Please don't abuse the quote feature.
Damn, that's rough friend. Sometimes its best to just avoid people even if you are forced to go to family functions with them. I don't know your situation, but my pops is aggressive, emotionally manipulative, and tends to insult me a lot. Whenever we're at family gatherings and he says something, I just ignore him or change the subject and do my best to stay out of his way.
No.3087
I'm sorry and this story made me really sad :(, friend.
I think it's better for you to distance yourself from that side of the family, especially if this is a common occurrence.
About feeling miserable about it, I think it's natural after an event such as this. You've (probably) spent a large amount of time with them and there's naturally going to be bonds that form. Even though they hurt you, you might still feel attached to them, so it hurts when you let go. I'm sure you'll get through it, friend!!
No.3190
>>3065 (OP)At least you still have a mother.
No.3192
Wow you could have death match right at home, friend. Once in a lifetime opportunity!
No.3235>>3363>>3364
>>3065 (OP)>she starts screaming at the top of her lungs, grabbing a knife in her handbit much, this
I can write the rest of as stupid family drama maybe, but picking up a knife is insane. I wouldn't be around her again.
Hope you've had a good month since then. I'm sure your dad appreciates you trying, maybe just visit him alone for a while.
No.3363>>3364
>>3235Once your mother has pulled a knife on you, you never look at her quite the same way ever again.