>>3004Please heed my advice here;
>>3027 and what I'm about to tell you in this post. I don't want to see someone else suffer like I did trying to fix their brain after they screwed it up with chemicals. My past really doesn't matter but suffice to say I'm an expert of chemicals, substances and even more importantly substance (ab)use. Make no mistake about it; You abused substances.
You brain is not broken. You threw some DXM and shrooms into the machine and it short circuited as it should. It doesn't matter if you took heroic doses in the past and a smaller dose brought the issue out. This kind of thing is cumulative. Your body said "no more!" and it gave you warning to stop. Which you did. So congrats on that front. Now we just have to work at getting back to normality.
I personally went through the same kind of thing in my 20s. I took most every substance you've probably heard of and many you haven't. I had a love affair with MXE and other fun things you can't even get anymore. I regularly mixed and matches substances and when I pushed things too far I turned to other substances in an attempt to "fix" my brain. I took things like various opioids, benzos and stuff like Gabapentin for years. I really enjoyed the latter as I quickly figured out I could stack it with a dosing schedule and fatty snacks to produce not only amazing visuals but outstanding music listening sessions. I would regularly do it for hours upon hours until it smacked me down and forced me to lay down. At which point I would have very restful sleep (so I thought) to which would relive my all consuming crippling insomnia. But the hard truth is such things only made my problems worse in the long run. Most of the problems I was attempting to fix like lingering hallucinations from prolonged psychedelic and dissociative drug sessions would only made worse by the constant see-saw of consuming drugs like benzos and then going back off of them again. Opioids brought their own issues as well of course. Like life long addiction and the spike in pain levels even when using them. As tolerance continues to build and the nod I desired became harder to obtain and closer to the thin line between breathing and death. Rebound from substances was worse than the problems I was attempting to solve with them. It took many years to figure out stuff like the xanax I took on Sunday was causing the sleep paralysis and seizure-like symptoms I was getting on Thursday. I thought I knew better and was well versed in the use of these substances, how they work, how the brain works and more importantly how they mix together. In truth, the so-called "experts" on places like Bluelight and writing the medical text books don't really know much. Nor do the so-called shamans and prophets from this new aged religion called the psychedelic experience. Every idiot that smokes some DMT now thinks they're enlightened. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Save yourself a lot of grief and learn from my mistakes. It will take time. It will suck. It will be painful. But trust me it WILL get better if you stay the course.
You do not need substances or a vitamin regime to fix this issue you're having. You just need to follow my helpful guide;
1) Diet: Cut out processed foods. Eat like your ancestors from 150 years ago. As closely as possible anyway. Meat, veggies, some fruits, rice, fish and prepare as much of your own food as possible. No processed sugars (use honey or molasses instead). Drink water. No alcohol.
2) Sleep. Your body (and brain) needs proper sleep. Give it the fuel from the good food you're eating and then give it time to rest. Time heals all wounds.
3) Be active; Go for walks. Exercise. Move around. You don't need to go to the gym 3 times a week but doing stuff like chopping wood and hauling it to the woodpile is very helpful. Anything that isn't just sitting around.
4) Read. Read anything it doesn't really matter. Stimulate your mind with intellectual studies. Even reading manga is better than not reading at all.
5) Be social. Get out and talk to people. Try to speak to someone at least once a day. Even small talk is better than nothing.
6) Get sunlight on your skin. Go outside and make sure you're in the sun at least 1 hour a day. More is better. Your body needs the sun.
7) Stop "checking" on your mental state all of the time. This is hard I know. But the things above will serve as a great distraction.
One day you'll wake up and realize you haven't thought about this in a long time. You'll realize you haven't seen any odd lingering visuals in so long you can't remember. You'll feel better. You won't be a ball of anxiety. You'll have more important things to concern yourself with like hopefully participating in whatever new social hobby you've picked up lately or looking forward to whatever you plan to do outside today.
Chemicals aren't the answer. The medical system is a sham and it has no answers for you either. You can't find the answers in some research chemical or shrooms either. Do not smoke pot. Do not drink alcohol. You can obtain those kind of mind states while 100% sober. It's called dreaming and day dreaming. You don't need a chemical crutch to get there. It just takes a little work on your part.
To give you an idea of what kind of person I am. If you'd posed these questions to me between the years of 2004-2018 I would have given you the same answers as the anon above. Who I believe is attempting to be helpful. But he's parroting the same advice I used to parrot. A lot of people are. It's why communities like Bluelight filled with such people exist. They're all attempting to replace a hole in their hearts with various chemicals that used to be filled by real spirituality back before the state and before that organized religion killed such things off.
This is not me saying all drugs are bad or you can't do drugs at all. But I am saying you shouldn't do them right now or for the foreseeable future. I'm also saying you should _never_ do benzos like valium and xanax either. Since they're far worse than even alcohol abuse and they are one of the few substances in common use that can kill you _after_ you've discontinued them.
I thought I'd broken my brain for many years. I woke up every morning to seeing the ceiling of my bedroom moving. Black moving dots everywhere. Sometimes several minutes until I could actually see at all. I had "seizures" plenty of times too. I spent many a night in my bedroom navigating the machinescapes and communicating with entities. I've met the machine elves. I've seen God on 200mg of DPT. I've eaten more LSD than I care to admit. I've grown and consumed untold ounces of mushrooms. I've smoked more pot than I can remember. I've done every opioid known to man. I've eaten handfuls of benzos, mixed them with opioids, washed them down with hard liquor and added some lyrica on top just to mellow out. I've snorted 2C-x drugs that people warn all over the internet will kill you and yes they do burn and make your nose bleed. I'd plugged MXE, morphine and several other substances because they just weren't working good enough those my nose or orally. I've done some of the best cocaine in the world. I've taken meth by mistake more than once when I got scammed by someone selling fake MDMA. I've taken MDMA many times and hung out with my cats thinking I was going to turn my social life around as soon as it wore off. I've found the answers then forgotten them more times then I can remember.
None of it was worth my time. I'm lucky to be alive. I probably wouldn't be if I weren't afraid of IVing. I've lost so many friends to the needle. I've lost so many friends that went mad from abusing substances like 3-meo-pcp and other chemicals we ordered from China that were a really bad idea.
Time, good food, good sleep, sunlight, social life and something that makes you feel useful. That's all you need. Time heals all wounds.
You don't have to do it all in one day. You can't. Wake up tomorrow with a small goal. Get it done. Do it all over again the next day. A few months from now you'll feel fine and will be very thankful you didn't turn to benzos in an attempt to solve these problems you've having. For me it took the better part of a summer and most of the next winter. But one day I woke up and the visual issues and the anxiety wasn't there anymore.
Godspeed!